1.) You have suffered both sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
2.) Your town has more bars than grocery stores.
3.) You prefer driving in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
4.) Parking your automobile at night requires an extension cord.
5.) You know Ekalaka is not a Hawaiian island.
6.) When you tell a woman she has a nice outfit you aren't complimenting her on her clothing.
7.) You would rather eat Rocky Mountain oysters than sushi.
8.) You haven't washed your vehicle in over a year because you fear the dirt is the only thing holding it together.
9.) You firmly believe the opening day of elk hunting should be a state holiday.
10.) You know cow pies are not made of beef.
11.) When bears wake from hibernation the story leads the evening news.
A photo of a mother elk calling for her calf in a Montana forest. → License Photo
12.) The elevation of your town exceeds its population.
13.) You have left the house wearing shorts and a coat at the same time.
14.) You have a tan line in the middle of your forehead.
15.) Your local gas station sells live bait.
16.) You serve Little Smokies on special occasions.
17.) You measure distance in hours and minutes, not miles.
18.) You know how to correctly pronounce Kootenai. And Absarokee.
19.) Empty shell casings roll around inside your pick-up truck.
20.) You've had a foot of snow on your lawn while the rest of the country was working on their tans.
21.) Your favorite designer labels are Carhartt and Wrangler.
22.) You can see stars at night.
23.) A SUV or pick-up truck is a necessity, not some sort of status symbol.
24.) You carry jumper cables in your vehicle. And your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.
An old yellow Dodge pick-up truck sits alone in a cold, open field near Inverness, Montana. → Buy a Print
25.) You consider -20° Fahrenheit "a little chilly."
26.) Your definition of a vacation is a trip to Billings.
27.) The wind outside is moving faster than your truck.
28.) The only traffic jam you regularly experience is when the high school football game lets out.
29.) You consider the Cat-Griz game every bit as important as the Super Bowl (if not more so).
30.) Your neighborhood Dairy Queen is closed from November to April.
31.) You have used both the heat and A/C on the same day.
32.) The only four spices you know are salt, pepper, ketchup, and ranch dressing.
33.) People drive four-wheelers around town. Legally.
34.) You never really put much stock in the weather forecast because you know it is almost always wrong.
35.) Most people you know have hit at least one deer or antelope.
36.) A visit to a larger town is a two to three hour drive away.
37.) Your idea of fun is sitting on the back of a tailgate and shooting gophers.
38.) You have never driven into a ditch, but you have driven into a borrow pit—and your whiskey is ordered ditch.
39.) You do all of your Christmas shopping at the feed and tack store.
40.) You named your son after a professional bull rider and your daughter after a professional barrel racer.
